Preordained (A Dimensions Tale)
In this tale you play the Commander of a spaceship of Sentinels, working for a universe-wide organization of peacekeepers. As you venture into Sector VIII, the Sentinel in charge gives you the object of investigating a distant planet for the cause of their communication interference.
Little under 5k words.
Comments
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The action and suspense had me at the edge of my seat. I would love a longer version to delve deeper into the chatlracters and back story.
Wow, a masterclass in building up suspense. I found myself wanting to read more at the end.
At least the tale's short enough that going through and seeing multiple endings isn't hard at all. Both endings felt abrupt, but while Dagymiel's was fine, I felt like Harvick's could have used another paragraph so the reader could understand what was going on.
Thank you!
The abruptness is fair criticism. I started writing within the last couple of days, so that could partly factor into it. I'm guessing the problem with Harvick is his magic? If so, that too is fair and I'll try to convey how the abilities of characters work, better in the future.